Building a Defense against Pornography

What must be put in place to prevent relapse from pornography?

The War of the Soul recovery method focusses on three areas:

  1. The Journey of the Heart: Understanding what lies beneath the struggle.

  2. Building a Defense: Putting structure into place to prevent relapse and give space for healing to occur.

  3. Building an Offense: Focus on establishing a purpose for life that is bigger than addiction.

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Building a Defense

There is hope for recovery from pornography addiction. But the journey is very difficult and a solid defense must be maintained to prevent relapse. Building a Defense focusses on the tools necessary to give the space needed for healing to occur.

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“Defense doesn’t solve your problem, but it gives you space for healing to occur.”

— Jason Johnston

Components of Sexual Integrity

 

  • Peter advises us in I Peter 2:11 to “abstain from fleshly lust that war against the soul.” To abstain means to “to refrain deliberately and often with an effort of self-denial from an action or practice.”

    The Christian life is one where we build the habits of abstaining from our fleshly desires. There will never be a time in our lives when we no longer need to refrain from our passions of the flesh. The key is to build the habit and ingrain the habit of saying no to our fleshly lusts.

    If your current habit is to say “yes” to your lusts, then you must setup significant walls and barriers to help you move through the detox period and begin to build solid habits.

    What are some things you are currently in the habit of abstaining from? How can you build the habit of abstaining from fleshly lusts?

  • Every Christian needs to develop boundaries in their life for where they will go, what they will watch, what they will listen to, and more. How are you being influenced by what you consume? It can be easy to deny that we are often feeding our lusts through our media consumption.

    “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7–8, ESV)

    Can you consume sexually provocative content without putting yourself into temptation? Can you listen to music with explicit lyrics and not be moved toward your passions? The process of building boundaries calls you to analyze everything that is coming into your heart and mind. Leave no stone unturned.

    What are some boundaries that you need on your media consumption, smartphone, apps, social media, and more?

  • Pornography is addictive. It is toxic. It can lead the user to a growing dependence and over time the user increases their consumption. Neuroscientist Dr William Struthers details the chemical bonds in our brains from pornography in his book "Wired for Intimacy" (https://amzn.to/3cPVvnw) which mimic the addiction pathway from synthetic drugs.

    Pornography often hides behind the lie that it doesn’t hurt anyone. But it harms the user, harms the performer, and supports the evils of the world through issues like human trafficking.

    The recovery process is boosted by debunking the lie that porn doesn’t hurt anyone and calling the addict to join the fight against sexual exploitation instead of participating in it.

    Watch here the direct link to how pornography is connected to human trafficking https://youtu.be/K8OgqiUjb8g.

  • Few can recover from addiction in isolation. We were designed for community and relationship and it’s often the lack of these that bring us to medicating our loneliness and wounding from relationships with pornography.

    The healing process is amplified through life giving community and friendship. We need accountability to walk the journey of the heart to recovery from pornography addiction.

    Small groups are a vital component of recovery. Find a group at a local church or elsewhere in your community. Search for the conquer series (https://youtu.be/bcArW8YzS1A) or the samson society or celebrate recovery.

  • Using Covenant Eyes accountability software greatly aided my recovery process. I’ve been using Covenant Eyes since 2007. Covenant Eyes helps recovery by reducing the anonymity in our online behaviors and emailing accountability reports to the partners that you choose. It works on smartphones, tablets, and computers. They have accountability as well as filtering options.

    You can try Covenant Eyes for 30 days free and see if it’s right for you https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/MqkkM

Boundaries

Building good boundaries is critical for the recovery process. Consuming media saturated with sexual content continues to fuel the fire of addiction.

 
 

Should Christians Watch That?

How do you determine your media boundaries? What process do you use to decide what you will and will not watch? Media companies push the boundaries to attempt to gain attention. This video provides 3 lenses for building your boundaries.

Is Covenant Eyes right for you?

Covenant Eyes provides internet monitoring and filtering for accountability on our connected devices. I've been using Covenant Eyes since 2004 and I've recommended this software to many whom I've coached on their recovery journey. But is CE right for you or your family? You can try for 30 days free.